Let me start this by saying we are not pet people. We are not even remotely close. So how I end up with so many pets I do not know. And its not like we take in these cute stray kittens, or buy a full-bred fru fru dog. We get our pets from the lake, from the street, and the latest one was rescued out of a locker in the HIGH SCHOOL BOYS FOOTBALL LOCKER ROOM.
We have our stray little dog Matty. And the stray dog we had before him was also named Matty. We can't even get original with our names. We give each pet the same name the previous one had. Who does that?!?! We've had Matty for over 8 years now. Its been the best little dog except that it finds any and every way to get out of our yard. All.The.Time. He's been escorted home in a police car. In which he rode in the front seat wagging his tail happily. We've had notes in our mailbox. "Your dog is running lose. Keep him in your yard." OH REALLY?!?! Like we don't know that? We've gotten tickets and warnings. His latest stunt is that he gets out of a hole in our fence, runs the two blocks to school, finds the hole in the elementary playground fence and hits the gold mine of little kids. Whenever I hear "Mr. B. there is a dog on the playground" come across the walkie-talkie's, I'm like "Oh crap! And drop what I'm doing and have to cart his little black and white rear home. So to all my neigbors I AM SORRY. I KNOW. We have fixed our fence. We have ghetto'd our yard up trying to plug up the holes. The dog is smarter than we are. He is a teenager. He likes to disobey his parents and run away.
Then we had slippy. The little turtle Jacob brought home from Beaver lake when he was 5. That we left in a bucket while we were at camp and thought was dead. Jacob prayed at camp for him to come back to life and he did. Praise God. That called for a big tank, supplies, etc... That turtle lived on our kitchen counter for 7 years!!!! When he died last year it was really sad. I will admit there were tears. FROM ME! We buried him in a little checkbook box in the front yard. For not being pet people, we are becoming pet people.
We got another turtle from Beaver lake. And I think we named him Slippy the 2nd. We might have tried to name him something else but we just call him Slippy. You know how some people are cat people? Well, we apparently are turtle people. Because the latest turtle we have is living in a HUGE plastic tub in Jonathan's bedroom. During football season there was a big ole' box turtle, in a bucket, IN A LOCKER, in the boys football locker room. JZ felt sorry for it because he is part of the weird turtle family. He brings it home in the front seat of his truck. He goes out and buys a huge tub, all this moss and decks out this tub that looks and smells like the Amazon forest. He keeps in at the foot of the bed. One night Matty tried to jump on the bed (in the middle of the night)and misses the bed and land in the turtle cage/tub. He can't get out. JZ wakes up to find Matty just sitting in the tub with the turtle.
Our latest collection of pets is the 11 goldfish Elisabeth got at Hallelujah night on Halloween. Actually, my little nephews and niece won them but my sister made them give the goldfish to E. (Thanks Holly). So we put them all in a bowl on the kitchen counter next to the turtle tank, where a Beta fish also lived. Most of the goldfish kicked off after a week. I don't think they could digest the cup of goldfish food E would throw in there every day. So I decided to put the last couple goldfish in the tank with the Beta and the turtle. After two days we were only down to one goldfish, Slippy the 2nd, and the Beta. (I think Jacob named him Killer.) Anyway, we had a big debate over which one ate the goldfish. We all thought the Beta did. Anyway, we started to check the tank daily to see who survived the night. The other day we woke up to find a goldfish HEAD floating at the bottom of the tank. And then, I kid you not, the Beta fish had completely disappeared out of the tank. Like, not a trace of Killer was found. I thought Beta's were supposed to be the ultimate He-Man fish. But not ours. He was a weeny. And we have one fat and happy Slippy the 2nd swimming around as the last fish standing. Except he's not a fish. He's a turtle. And for us not being pet people, we sure have alot of pet stories.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Some Things You Never Learn
It has been hard for me to decide how to actually get back into blogging. First, it's because E has picked like 15 keys off my laptop. I managed to get most of them back on except the "w", "c" and a few other ones that I am not sure what they are for anyway. Ya. She dumped out my purse and while I was picking up my purse she crawled up on the table and in 10 seconds flat all these little black computer keys were on the floor, table and in her mouth. Oh I had a come-to-Jesus-meeting with that little girl. So if you notice some typo's you'll know why they are there.
Second, my very last blog was a week before we went on the Big Family Cruise. I could blog so many funny stories about that but it didn't seem quite appropriate to be funny when my poor husband ended up in the hospital for 6 days with heart problems the day after we got back. We weren't even unpacked, or had any food in the house, or even had more than 3 diapers in the bag when he went into Pro-med and didn't come back until a week later. The summer revolved around getting him back to health and finally cathing up on laundry from camp+vacation+hospital stay. So, things have settled down and it is easier to find the funny in life again.
I may back track one day and share a few cruise stories, and the endless E stories...But for now I'll just jump right in and tell about last night. When I temporarily forgot that I CANNOT CUT HAIR!!!! The first time I tried to cut hair was when I was in 6th grade. The night before school pictures. When I thought it would be cool to have Farrah Fawcett feathered hair. I whacked my hair off above my ears thinking somehow that would make the feathered look. It didn't. I'm STILL embarrassed to show anyone that picture.
Last year I went through this phase where I tried to cut Elisabeth's bangs. I remember the horror I felt when I just had to keep snipping and clipping trying to get her bangs straight until there was almost no hair left. And that was two weeks before Christmas. Every Christmas picture she looks like a complete dork.
Last night, Jonathan came to me and said, "mom, will you try and cut my hair with dad's clippers." Why I eagerly grabbed the clippers and said YES! I will never know. This was a cheapy little beard trimmer that I was trying to cut my son's bush of a head with. I thought if this would work I could really start saving us some money. He then tells me, "If this turns out you owe me $16.00." I'm like "what?!?!?!" He thinks that I will just give him the money I am saving from the hair dresser. I don't think so. I started up the clippers but whatever setting I was on wasn't cutting it so I decided to take the clipper part off. Bad idea. "Oops! Uh-oh! Crap!" were the only words that could escape from my mouth. He's looks in the mirror and says "Mom! one side of my head has a side burn and the other one doesn't!!!" And then one side of his hair was really bushy and one had a nice, close shave. But the worse was the back. I told him he looked like one of those little kids with ringworm on their head and the hair is missing in that spot. I am so lucky he has such a great sense of humor and we got a good laugh out of it. It was great mother and son bonding time.
To make a long story short, Jonathan could not go to school today until he got his hair cut. By a professional. And she did a great job fixing my botched job. So I made my son miss his first class today. I still had to pay for a hair cut. My bathroom floor still has hair all over it even after wiping it up twice. I think I have finally learned my lesson. At least for this year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)