Words



"I'm sick mamma, really sick."

 

Words you don't want to hear from your child, especially when she is literally halfway across the world.

 

"I found this lump in my breast mamma, while I was sick in India."

 

Words you thought you would never hear coming from your 20 year old daughter.

 

"I'll be right back ladies..."

 

Words you do not want to hear from a lab technician doing an ultrasound on your 20 year old daughter.

 

"It should be me laying there and not you."

 

Words I say to my daughter that is getting an exam that is 30 years too early.

 

"The tumor I see is abnormal. We will schedule you a biopsy as soon as we can. The biopsy is 7:30 a.m. the day after tomorrow."

 

Words you never thought you would hear concerning one of YOUR children.

 

"This day did not turn out how I expected."

 

Words the doctor said after a grueling six hours in his office.

 

"Babe.., it's not good. This is crazy.I can't even believe it."

"It's gonna be okay. We will get through it.  Tell Sarah I love her."

 

Words spoken on the phone between two parents.

 

"Babe, the realtor called and we just sold the house.  We ARE gonna be okay. We WILL get through this."

 

Words you don't want to hear 30 minutes after finding out your child might have cancer.   When you have no place to go.  When you have no back up plan.  When you have to be out in 4 weeks.

 

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27)

 

Words I easily wrote on someone's facebook post.  And two days later they are words that I had no idea I would be clinging to with everything I am.  Words that I say, words that I know, but are they words I believe, truly believe?

 

"Yes Lord.  Through my fear. I trust you.  Through my countless tears. I believe you.  Through the sleepless night, I feel you there."

 

Words I spoke to my Lord.

 

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"And she had breast cancer and her hair fell out, and her eyebrows fell out, and she did the whole thing on national TV!!!"

 

Careless Words spoken from a group of older women sitting next to a nervous girl and her parents in the waiting room...waiting for her name to be called for a biopsy.

 

" Hey Hon, you need to tie your shoe!"

 

Words spoken from the same group of women, as my daughter was walking back to her biopsy. Those words only let me know that yes, that is my baby walking back there. Wasn't it only yesterday I was tying her shoes? 

 

"I would pay a trillion dollars to let this be me and not you."

 

Words any mother would say to her daughter.

 

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"Have you heard from the doctor?!?!?! I am a bundle of nerves!"

 

Words sent across the phone from a mom to a dad, a wife to a husband.

 

"What's wrong Mrs. Zluticky? Why are your eyes watering? Are you okay?"

"I don't know, maybe I have allergies..."

 

Words spoken between teacher and student.  Asked by a child who is all too familiar with pain and can sense it in others. 

 

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

 

Words that I still believe.  Even though it is hard.

 

 "It's benign."

 

The only words we wanted to hear from the doctor's mouth. And we did.

 

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"The doctor agreed to see you.  Get her here now."

 

Words that are such a relief after still messing around with what has made her so sick from India.

 

"I am finally starting to feel better. I'm going back to school"

 

Words spoken from a girl, after just flying home from half-way around the world, did nothing but face a week and a half of poking, prodding, needles, and doctors. Handling it all with the grace and beauty and strength of someone who believes.

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That has been our last two weeks.

Totally unexpected.

 

I don't know why God allowed us to have a good outcome when so many wonderful families do not.

 

I do know that as a family in ministry, we meet so many hurting people. Families in crisis. Families who do not get a good report. Families without hope. And it is so easy to give them scripture. 

 

Sometimes we need to be brought to the place where we know how it feels to hurt.  We know how it feels to be scared. Really scared.  We are faced with the scripture and Jesus gently asks,  "Do you REALLY believe what you say? What I say?"  

 

Yes. With humble and grateful hearts, we do.

 

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