Last night Chris wasn't feeling good. His last words to me were "All I need is a good night's sleep..." and off to dreamland he went - at least that's where he thought he was going. My almost 18 month old daughter thought she would pull one her newborn-17 month stunts and wake up for a 1:00 a.m. feeding. I got up, heated up a bottle of milk for her since she was probably still hungry after her supper of popcorn. I do what the books say - don't look at her, don't talk to her - just do your business and lay her back down. I would make her skip a bottle at night but I have this really weird hang-up about my kid's being hungry and me not feeding them. It's why we all look like we do, and even my classroom kids have picked up on this hang-up of mine. All they need to say to me at any hour of the day is- "Ms. Z, I am really hungry..." and give me some pathetic starving Ethiopia eyes, and I'm digging in my desk looking for a pack of crackers to hold them over for awhile. Anyway, I put E back in her bed and climb back into our bed - only to listen to her cry. And cry. And cry. My girl can cry it out like nobody's business and make all those "sleep training" books look like a bunch of malarkey. We get back up - another bottle. Another dose of Benedryl. A video on the Ipad. By now its 3:30 a.m. Chris was also up helping out with this scenario. All I'm gonna say that about 4 bottles, 1 poop, 15 "Wheels on the Bus" episodes, 3 "cry it out's" later - at 5:30 A.M. THE LITTLE TOOT FINALLY FALLS ASLEEP!!!! Chris has to be on the bus at 6:00 a.m. I get up for school shortly after. All I'm thinkin' is "this kid better wake up with 5 new molars popped through or a 106 degree fever or ...." Now of course I really wouldn't wish that upon her - but since she woke up at about 10:00 this morning all smiles - I think yet again she pulled another fast one on us.
Elisabeth exhausts me. I have stooped to parenting techniques that I have sooooo judged others about. She has never been a great eater (unless you count eating tables, paper, carpet etc...as part of her balanced diet.)
I found this bulletin in my Bible tonight. It was from a couple Sunday's ago. Elisabeth thought it would make a great snack. Every once in a while - she likes to take a trip back to her pica paper eatin' days.
We put her high chair in front of the T.V. We put an Ipad on the table while she eats. This is so she will stay in her high chair more than 3 seconds and swallow more than 3 bites of food. It's awful. I am rolling over in my own grave and I'm not even dead yet. But when you have this kind of kid - that no parenting book can even touch - you just do what you gotta do.
She's a climber now. I'm actually glad she's reached that stage- but with her curiosity, her absolutely no fear of anything, and her high tolerance for pain - she is danger with a capital D. Her newest thing (which I discovered while I was taking a shower) is to climb on the toilet, hoist herself up to the sink, climb in the sink and reach and open the medicine cabinet. This is what I thought was a really good hiding place for ya' know, things like razors and medicine. I've caught her there several times and it's by the grace of God she hasn't poisoned herself, cut herself, all while falling off backwards and breaking her neck. Needless to say, we now try to stay in the habit of keeping the bathroom door closed.
Parenting is just exhausting. Parenting a toddler in your forties is beyond exhausting. Medical issues can takes it toll, behavioral issues take their toll (contrary to popular belief -including that of our older children - we actually do discipline Elisabeth. Ask her if she wants a spankin'. Watch her shake her head "no" so hard it looks like those red curls might fall off). Sleepless nights from a new baby, an ornery toddler into everything and could be the poster child for early childhood ADHD (a.k.a Elisabeth), or a teen out past curfew doing Lord knows what- takes it toll.
Last night Early this morning, I am crying out to God for supernatural strength for Chris and I to get through this day and do everything we need to get done. And you know what? He is faithful. His grace IS sufficient. One day at a time, one hour at a time. And when you think you won't make it through a rough spot, you do. His grace is sufficient for the specific need you have for your specific child. And at least everyone has at least ONE child that breaks the mold. Right?!?!
I wonder if we named our late in life child "
Elisabeth Grace" because subconsciously we knew how much grace we would need to get through her day to day shenanigans. But no matter what, we wouldn't have her any other way.
"My Grace is sufficient for you. For my strength is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9
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