What Happens When You Don't Have a T.V.

What happens when you don't have a T.V.? Let me tell you.  A baby at 40 is what happens.  A crazy mess in your house is what happens.  I know that T.V. gets a really bad rap most of the time, but hey - for all the mom-saving sanity it allows, we should be nice to it once in a while.

About 2 years ago we made the big, agonizing, life rendering decision to get rid of  DISH Network.  It had been our best friend for about 13 years.  I remember when we first got it and Jonathan begged to stay home from pre-school so he could watch Blues Clues on Nickelodeon.  Twelve years later and about a billion hours of watching of 200 channels of nothing, and paying outrageously for it, we got rid of it.  Geez, now what were we gonna do for 6 hours a night?   My next statement will probably have my grandma readers droppin' there china cup mid-paragraph...but, all I'm gonna say is a couple months later of no cable is well....we found out we were pregnant with Elisabeth!    UPDATED BLOG: I posted this on twitter and Sarah tweets: @amyzluticky I could have lived without that first part mom. #yuck #ThingsYouShouldntSay - - so I was nice and crossed it out.

About 2 weeks ago Chris and I are in bed actually praying. (No, for real - I'm not even trying to make that up to cover the last revelation I just typed.)  All of a sudden we hear this zapping sound like a bunch of bugs are being fried in the mosquito zapper.  Chris gets up and checks and its our big box T.V. going out.  We get back in bed.  Start praying again.  Now it sounding like a lightning bolt zapping through every electrical outlet in our house.  He has enough respect to literally say "Excuse me Lord, just a minute" and runs out to the living room, I  jump up thinking our house is about to explode.  And what does my husband do? Stands in the middle of the living room and waves to the T.V. and sadly tells it goodbye. 

We only had Netflix - but guess who loves Netflix  more than anyone in this family?  Elisabeth.  It had her Barney and her stupid "Wheels on the Bus" episodes. (A grand total of 3.  I have them memorized word by word.)  Guess who was freaking out because the T.V. couldn't come on. Elisabeth.  Guess who no longer even gets a 30 minute break from this wild child because I can't plop her in front of it with a bag of popcorn.  ME!!!!!  Chris (and I do agree) that we are going to wait a little while before we get a new T.V. 

Thursday night it was just me and little E at home.  She was in a "mood" so I thought I would kill some time and burn off some of her energy and take her to the park.  I take her to this big ole' park and all she wants to do is play in the ditch next to the road.  Every time we are there.  She is obsessed with this ditch.  Only  its currently full of 3 ft of water!  I'm trying to have a decent conversation with my college age daughter (who needs her mommy too :) ) while chasing E around and trying to distract her from the ditch.  Fail.  She goes in and gets soaked with water up to her knees.  I load her up in the stroller and treck home. 

We get home and I take off her wet clothes.  I sink into the chair.  I know I am a whiner but I was really really tired.  Long day at school, and I think that was the first time I had really sat down all day.  I am seriously wanting to get up and lay hands on that T.V. and pray for a miraculous healing so I could sit my little girl's behind in front of it and I could relax for a few!!!

 I could hear Elisabeth rummaging around in the kitchen.  But I seriously cannot get up.  I was too tired.  (again - result of baby at 40) I'm mentally going through the kitchen trying to figure out if there was any sharp objects laying around she poke her eyes out with.

I should have got up.  She had taken off her diaper and poop and peed all over the kitchen floor.  (sorry, I know that's TMI)   I grab her, keep the dog away with my foot, try to clean it all up with paper towels, throw her in the sink and spray her down with the sprayer.

                                                       Mommy does not think this is funny.
Bath. Clean Jammies.  Mop floor.  Go and switch loads of laundry.  While I am switching laundry (2 minutes tops), E pulls down the dishwasher door, uses it to climb and reach the jar of pizza sauce on the kitchen counter.  She then dumps it in my dishwasher of clean dishes and on herself.  I am beside myself at this point.  She is licking it off her jammies.  Another bath.  Another floor to be mopped. 

Mommy really isn't laughing now.

I wanted to cry.  I wanted to scream.  I wanted to give up on parenting for a little bit.  I don't even bother to dress her when I was cleaning up.  When I was finished, she was sitting buck-naked on the couch reading the Bible with another Bible sitting in her lap.  I really wanted to cry then.  But for a different reason.  All the frustration with her from the night just melted at that moment.  I started to sing "Jesus Loves Me" - she started to smile and rock back and forth.  It was like God gave me that moment to let me know that it's all good, keep lovin' her, keep getting up, keep cleaning up.  My strength and patience were renewed to make it till' bedtime.  And if He can do that....then how bout' healing our T.V. Lord....



                                      Okay.  You know how to work it girl. You're forgiven.