Never say Never

There was a brief period when I thought I was done having kids. When we had finally gotten out of that "toy" stage, I was actually a little sappy - taking pictures of what I thought would be the last time little action figures would be strategically placed around our living room. I thought I had stepped on my last dang Lego. Goodbye  "toy days" -  Hello sleep- in-whenever-you-want-days.  Then Boom! Kid #4 comes along at age 40. And now she is three and we are in the full blown, mess making, tornado of toys.

A few years ago I would see commercials for the most hideous toys, like Monster High Dolls for instance. Then I would think like I'm all that and a bag of chips perfect parent : "Who the heck thought this up and who would actually BUY it? Who wants a creepy, scar-faced monster doll?!?! I would never, ever, ever buy that for my child!!!" Well, apparently enough people bought them because they are still selling them.

I swear the marketing for toys has been upped about a billion notches on Nick and Disney and can coach a three year old into sneaking the phone, and buy some balloon looking Wubble - Wooble - Whatever - Ball for ONLY $8.95 plus $300.95 shipping and handling. And Elisabeth is their target. Like, they might as well pop out of the T.V. and tease her with it till she has a meltdown and I fork over the money to get her off my case about buying it. They are THAT good. I just spent forty bucks on purple moon sand. So trust me, I talk from experience.  When you asked E what she wanted for Christmas, she would say "EVERYTHING." Meaning, everything she saw on every commercial for the last 4 months.  For real. (The child needs to have Radical by David Platt read to her for a bedtime story for the next 5 years.)

But the granddaddy of all presents, of ALL marketing schemes, of ALL the crazy, most stupid toys out there -  my 3 year old daughter was HOOKED, OBSESSED, BRAINWASHED into wanting a doll called "Diaper Surprise" by Lalaloopsy. Which is code name for not only do "I look like a space alien" but the DOLL POOPS OUT CHARMS THAT YOU WEAR ON A BRACELET!!!!!

She continually asked for this. She couldn't say the real name, which was "Diaper Surprise" so she would just call it the "poop charms doll." Then we off-handedly said "maybe for Christmas." Well, that meant "I am getting this for Christmas" and it's all she has talked about for 3 months. I found the last one of the shelf at Walmart and I made Jacob go buy it when she wasn't looking.  He's like, "Mom. THAT was awkward."  There was no way that if this was the one toy she was going to fixate on, then I wasn't about to ruin her Christmas by having a boring old regular doll baby under the tree.

So every time she would see Santa (but totally refuse to sit on his lap) he would ask what she wanted for Christmas. And this is how their conversations went:

 

Santa: "What do you want for Christmas little girl?"

Elisabeth: "I wanna poop charms!"

Santa: "You wanna what?"

Me intervening at this point:  "Well, SHE isn't going to poop the charms out, it's this really weird DOLL  that poops out charms....."

Santa: a very awkward pause and then a "HO HO HO HO.... NEXT?!?!?!"

 

And I would walk away with my crazy little E saying "maybe for Christmas...."

 

When we left milk and cookies for Santa last night I asked her what she wanted to say to Santa and she told me to write "ME WANT POOP CHARMS".  Thank you Jesus I bought that doll.



 

Well, even though Santa did not want to engage in a conversation about pooping out charms, he did not disappoint. Christmas morning, the one gift Santa left our little E was POOP CHARMS!!

 

 

 

And let me just tell you, that doll is every bit as weird, and gross as you can imagine. And she totally LOVES it. This is how it works.  You give the baby a bottle with water. Then you push it's belly button. Then it goes pee-pee in this little diaper.  Well, in this diaper is a charm that is hidden behind this paper that supposedly dissolves when it gets wet. Only it doesn't dissolve all the way and you have to dig this slimy wet charm out of a slimy wet mess in the diaper.

 

WHO THINKS THIS STUFF UP!?!?! WHO?!?!!!!

 

 So you have to wipe off the charm and then stick it on this bracelet. That you proudly wear on your wrist.  And since it can only poop it out once, you can buy a 3 pack of surprise diapers to keep your lovely collection going. And have I mentioned she loves it!!!  Elisabeth also gets a kick out of this doll going tee-tee pretty much on demand. During Christmas dinner she held the doll over our cooler of ice and had it go tee-tee and she thought that was pretty funny to get a rise out of everybody standing around the cooler. 

 

 

So anyway, when you ask E what she got for Christmas and she says "poop charms" - you now know the story behind it.  I can't believe Santa is suckered into buying that stuff.

 

 

We buy crazy things, and do crazy things, because we love like crazy,  OUR KIDS.  Seriously, I love this little girl (and my 3 other kids) so much that I would give up my life for them. (Or a paycheck or two to buy ridiculous toys so they won't be disappointed and have a happy Christmas). But God's love for us is even more than what we have for our kids. That's why he gave up his son. That's why He gave us the BEST gift of all - Jesus.  Who is the TOTAL reason for this CHRISTmas season.

 

 

Matthew 1:21

"And she shall bring forth a son, and you shall call his name Jesus; for he shall save his people from their sins."

 

Merry Christmas!

 xxoo Amy